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It's Not JUST About the Food

I remember when I was in the ED experience, I kept thinking about everything I wanted to eat:

I said I wanted a burger

I said I wanted a milkshake

I said I wanted donuts

I said I wanted the cereal I used to eat when I was little


Now, did I want these for health? (I understand, I DID need the calories for health!!)

No. I wanted them for what they represented.


They represented freedom.

Not that I would eat them on the regular for health.

But that I COULD eat them and feel 100% okay.

Not flip out.

Not want to compensate in some way by restricting more afterward.

Pure. Freedom.


We often hear about food talked about as more than just energy when we talk about culture or celebration or as an emotional comfort.

Food can be ALL of that - and that is OKAY.

A tool can have multiple purposes.

It may have one dominant purpose (i.e., food is energy for the body!), but that doesn’t mean it can’t be used for MORE.


When you engage with food for a reason other than it being a pure source of energy and nourishment, you align with that other kind of energy.

Maybe it’s the energy of joy with a celebration.

Maybe it’s the energy of love with a cultural food for you.

Maybe it’s the energy of freedom when you let go of restriction.

Maybe it’s the energy of excitement when you make a food decision in alignment with your health goals.

There’s always an energetic component...


It’s never JUST about the physical act of eating.

Even if it’s made for health and fuel reasons, there’s still something deeper behind it.

You’re making that decision because you care about your body.

You’re making that decision because you care about your goals.

You’re making that decision to align with that version of you.

And, can I be honest with you sweet souls?


I still haven’t allowed myself to eat any and all foods.

I’m still in this process (& it’s a-okay!).

Because I have learned that, over many years (like, since I was 7 or 8), I have entangled food and safety in my brain.

And changing, quite radically, a food that I eat (even if just for one time) feels unsafe to a part of me.

Because it’s outside the norm and appears to introduce an element of unpredictability…


I am working on healing and regulating my nervous system, helping all parts of me (inner child parts included) feel safe (because I am safe).

It’s (eating a certain way) just what part of me has clung onto for safety (which also has to do with some early health challenges, a phobia, and so on!).

I just want to be honest with you all about where I am in the process. I am very excited to have learned all I have thus far because it’s “hello healing!” time.


It’s nowhere near where I was in the ED experience (not by a long shot!) and I won’t label it as disordered eating.

Sometimes labels free us.

Sometimes they keep us trapped.

Well, you NEVER have to accept ANY label, my friend.

YOU decide - always.

Food can be about more AND our habits around food can REVEAL more (like with me, pointing me toward what needs healing!).


You don’t have to reach some arbitrary definition of “perfection” (I’ve thought before, “Oh! I need to PERFECTLY do ALL the things I learned about in my coaching certification, in ED recovery, etc. before I can help anyone else.” But we don’t have to listen to all of our thoughts, do we?

THAT kind of perfection (arbitrary perfection based on human definitions) doesn’t exist

You know what kind DOES exist? The kind that you Are - at your core.

You’re here to align your outside world (including your body) with your inner perfection.

And the good news is...there isn’t just ONE way to express that inner perfection.

Ahhh...take a deep breath...

Freedom.


And another bit of honesty here for you awesome people, I feel a smidgen of fear sharing with you all that I have not totally opened myself up to any and all foods. Because my brain says, "Well, if you don't practice what you preach, then no one is going to trust and listen to you!" 


Buuuuttttt.....


Okay, I'm not here to tell you what to do, for one thing!


But for another, HONESTY is what builds trust and connection.


See, I KNOW what would be healthiest (I think? See, I play around with whether or not I totally need to be 100% comfortable eating any and all foods! It always comes down to INTENTION. So, while I know about the safety piece I talked about in the slides, I am still figuring out the OTHER "why" reasons…)


But, hey - we don't always do what we LOGICALLY know we gotta do (or, I should say, that we WANT to do).


That's a human thing and it's ok! It's just a time to figure out WHY.


Not in stress. Not in overwhelm. Not in fear. Not in guilt. Not in shame.


In pure curiosity. Pure curiosity with the intent of being able to move beyond and actually do what you want to do!


Okay. Off of my story now!


LET FOOD BE MORE


Arguably, maybe it wouldn't be the MOST helpful to have food always be more than fuel and nourishment? But it's not black and white. It's not either/or.


Food can be energy and nourishment AND something more at the same time.


Symbolic. Connecting. Energetic (not in a caloric way).


Relax. We're all figuring this out. There is no “perfect.”


As always, sweet souls, I'm here if you need me! Hop on over to my nutrition coaching page to learn more about working with me in a 1:1 coaching capacity. And, if you’re still looking for nutrition support but aren’t yet ready for nutrition coaching, hop over to my nutrition consultation page to learn about my one-time (well, one AT a time!) nutrition consultation offer!


And if you need anything else or just want to say hey, send me an email, connect with me on Instagram, or fill out the contact form on my site! ALSO - don’t forget to subscribe to my email list to stay up to day on everything I post each week - Instagram, blog, AND podcast!


XOXO Katie Anne


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