top of page

Life Lately: Living Out of Alignment, Deeper Layers of Healing, Parts Work, & More

You know what this world needs more of? Openness. People sharing.


I know there's a WHOLE lot of that going on, but there's equally just as much of it NOT going on. Well, I'm not one of those people that's not going to have it going on. Am I making sense?


Okay, okay. What I mean is: I'm going to share my story, my life, my learnings, and everything else I can think of that's going to...


Help you grow

Help you get to know me

Help showcase what healing looks like, can be like

Help you choose your very own aligned path in life

Help you not feel so alone


...and probably a whole lot more that's not popping into my head at the moment.


No, we certainly don't have to share everything with others and the world. Some things are meant to stay private. But, we know when it's time to be real and open and honest and quit presenting a less-than-whole picture to the world.


Now, do you know how I came to so easily be able to do this?? (And sometimes I still forget what I'm about to say!)


I know the Truth of Who I Am.


I'm a soul. I'm an eternal, cosmic, spiritual being (and so are you! - that's just what a soul is).


My life circumstances are not my identity. My actions are not my identity. My thoughts are not my identity. My emotions are not my identity. What is within me that requires healing is not my identity.


You get the point.


No, my identity is the Soul - that spiritual, essential part of Me that never goes away. That has existed and will exist for all of eternity.


Just. Like. You.


That's one of my aims, you know - to remind you of and reconnect you with your Soul Truth.


So that you can be free. So that you can choose your identity. So that you can create a different life.


All of this to say...


We are souls in human bodies, and as humans, we get to learn. We get to have all sorts of experiences.


And we are free to choose anew at any moment.


Well, I've reached one of those moments. A moment where I know it's time for things to change.


It's uplevel time. It's time to release. It's time to align - truly.


I'll get to all of what I mean in a second! But, this is the first in a new type of blog post, where I share with you events in my life and what I'm learning and what I'm choosing going forward.


Everything can serve to wake us up even more and take us even higher if we choose to use it that way!


Everything.


And that is what I am choosing.


Okay, ready? Let's talk about work first.


Tales of an Owner of a Tree Care Business...



Did you know I own a tree care business??? I sure do! (That's a picture of my climbing a tree, by the way.)


Okay, that's kinda just an "on paper" sort of thing. Now, of course I perform owner/administrator duties for the business! But I certainly don't do it all. (Hmm...I guess "doing it all" isn't in the job description of a business owner, is it?)


No, I run this whole business with my dad. He's the one who had the business in the first place and passed it on to me. I'm just in the process of transforming it!


He still plays an integral role in the business, of course. He has the tree care knowledge, after all!


We were supposed to be a team, and we sorta kinda are...


But we're also very different. We have different ways of viewing the world. Different ways of viewing life. Different ways of viewing work. Different ways of viewing people.


And I know that we all have differences from our parents and the rest of our family. That's totally normal and a-okay. But...I'm learning that it takes on a whole different form when you're trying to be in business with a family member.


Especially a parent.


Now, you know me and energetics. Energy is the foundation for everything. And my dad and I? On two totally different vibrational levels.


I feel that. On the daily.


A friction, a disconnection, a dissonance...


And, in response, I have chosen (subconsciously and part consciously, because I am choosing my mindest/perception) to feel stress. I have chosen to surrender all power and authority to him, throwing my alignment to the side.


Basically, living and doing as if my dad has all the answers and that he knows it all.


And what has this resulted in?


  • Me living crazily out of alignment.


  • Me pushing my dreams with The Joy Babe to the back burner. (Not abandoning them, of course!)


  • Me having to force myself to do work for the tree business because it feels...awful.

I sense a huge resistance to it. Almost like being...repelled. (Now, am I grateful for this job? YOU BET! It's given me wonderful gifts that I'm going to list in just a second.)


  • Me feeling stressed, anxious, depressed, angry...


But, I know the truth. I know the fix. Here's what I know:


  • My dad is neither right nor wrong. He is choosing his own reality. However, the way he is choosing to create his reality is not how I want to choose to create mine. His life is not the life I want to live, so why would I give all power and authority over to him? (Likely a lot of childhood stuff going on here!)


  • This path as an owner of a tree service business is not my soul's only path. It is where I am right now and it is providing me with wonderful gifts. Gifts like freedom of time, a great source of income, the ability to hone my business skills, etc. So, it is a stop on my soul's journey and I'm grateful for it! I just know that The Joy Babe ventures are at least an addition to (if not a complete replacement of!) this current role.


  • I can choose to choose my own alignment at any moment. I can choose boldness and set boundaries. I can choose courage and communicate my intentions with The Joy Babe. I can hold firm in my beliefs about life, work, people, etc. I can choose to embody my Soul and my Truth each and every day, no matter what I am doing. I can choose to not give away my power to other humans, no matter their role or title in my life.


  • I can choose gratitude for where I am while continuing to work in the direction of my bigger dreams.


Have I been doing the above all of the time? No.


Yet, I am declaring, that all changes today.


Today, the stress, overwhelm, anxiety, depression, and anger end. What is here will be healed. But we ain't adding any more. Because I'm choosing a new way.


What does that look like?


Beliefs Into Action - No More Talk


I say I believe a lot of things. And I do believe them! But belief without action does very little.


It is true that beliefs hold an energetic signature, so they serve as communication with the Universe when it comes to manifestation, but without action they fall short.


They are always meant to lead to action.


Just as you can't stop at dreaming & you must go into belief, you mustn't stop at belief - you must go into action.


So, what am I talking about when it comes to the changes I'm declaring today?


I have to live out the lifestyle of manifestation. I have to put these beliefs and knowings and current understandings to work. They can't just live in my mind.


To be honest? I've felt afraid to talk about it anywhere but here ("here" meaning anything to do with The Joy Babe - blog, podcast, website, Instagram). Because I've felt scared of what my friends and family will think or say:


Will they think it's delusional? Stupid? Too good to be true? Will they belittle me?


I cannot say I know the source of these fears. I have felt similar fears when delving into anything new in the past, anything different from the "norm" that's around me.


But...I know I'm meant to be the change. (Just as everyone is in their own unique way.)


......


How can I be the change without being different?


How can I keep on talking about the manifestation I believe in wholeheartedly as the Way we are all meant to be existing if I don't actually do any of it myself? Intentionally. Deliberately. Each and every moment.


Forget the fear! When you know something is true, you do it anyway, no matter what. I must do that concerning manifestation and all my other spiritual beliefs, I know that now.


See, I've had it easy up until now (now that it's time to be different) with my spiritual beliefs! My entire family has Christian-based beliefs, so I got to hop on that bandwagon from the very beginning. I was able to be spiritual, comfortably, because everyone else around me was! I'm thankful for this upbrining, as it was my gateway into the world of spirituality. I still love parts of this faith, but it is not my full belief system by any means!


And, now, I get to hop into something different when it comes to spirituality! I can't hold back any longer because it's absolutely miserable to not live out what you believe. If I go this spiritual path alone when it comes to the people closest to me right now...so be it!


Then, this leads right into the money piece - another "doing over talking" or "action over just believing" sort of thing.


Over the past several years, I have learned how to rework/rewire my relationship with money. Just like with manifestation, I know this different way of thinking about money is the truth (you know, anything is "the truth" if we choose to see it that way...). You can read alllll about what I have learned thus far in my money mindset shifts e-book, completely free to download and read!


But anyway...have I implemented all of these new beliefs? Nope.


Believing, like I said, is one thing. Action? A whole separate ballgame! But not impossible by any means, of course. It doesn't even have to be more challengeing! You just need a different approach, in my opinion.


But, my current job (owning the tree service business) has definitely brought up all of the old money beliefs that I gotta get the heck out of my brain and replace with the new ones that I know to be true. (You know, I am getting such clarity just by writing this! Ahhh, the power of words...)


I have felt an old scarcity mindset pop up, feeling intense fear around the business losing money, unexpected expenses we've had, the whole business falling apart...etc. It hasn't been fun feeling all of this, as you can imagine. (But, these perspectives are of my choosing! I can choose a different way, which I'm going to talk about heading into in just a second.)


It's been exacerbated by a pattern of job gains and losses with another person to which I am financially tied. Right now, this person currently has a stable job. However...I've still felt intense fear that one day, unexpectedly (as this is how it has happened in the past!), they will have lost their job again.


Both of these are wonderful practice scenarios! Practice scenarios for focusing on the positive - where do I want things to go? Practice acknowledging the fear and the fearful thoughts, recognizing them as coming from parts of me that need healing (getting to the parts work in just a second!), and allowing them to neutrally be there (not guiding my beliefs, thoughts, and actions!) while the healing takes place.


Manifestation is not a passive process, sweet souls. It takes intentionality!


And I am learning to love the scenarios that bring about the beliefs and programs and all that jazz that needs healing and releasing in order for me to step fully, fully, fully into a life I dream of.


Mentioning these things coming up, I have been introduced lately to something called Internal Family Systems (IFS) and parts work. Let's talk about that.


IFS & My Parts


"No Bad Parts" is the book I am currently reading on Internal Family Systems

I am not going to try to explain this in depth because I certainly don't understand it in depth! Yet.


But, Internal Family Systems is a therapeutic/healing modality that takes into account the different parts of ourselves that exist.


Parts of our personality.


Literally looking at them and treating them like independent entities (that are still, paradoxically, a part of our whole Self).


Conversing with them. Caring for them. Helping them transform.


These parts are fragmented parts of the core Self/Soul that we are. And, due to various things that happened in life, these parts became fragmented and adopted roles that took them away from what they were truly meant to be.


For example, a part of you that was originally designed to be your cheerleader and encourager may have become your protector due to childhood trauma.


The protector part of you gets triggered by various things in your day-to-day life now, reacting as if there is still a threat present. Your reaction doesn't make sense to you. You may even say, "I don't know why I said/did that. That's not me..."


That's right! It's not! You are You - the Self, the Soul.


The core, pure, spiritual essence that we ALL are. (So, yes, this does take on a spiritual nature! Right up my alley...)


The "work" is going within, identifying the parts, identifying their burdens (the roles they have taken on that are not what they are truly meant to be), and caring for them as the Self/Soul so that they can heal, release those burdens, become what they truly are, and integrate back into the Self/Soul.


That's what I know right now, in a nutshell!


Work and the stress that I have allowed it (and the life circumstances surrounding it, with money and such) to bring about have revealed parts of me that need healing.


The part(s) believing in...


Scarcity

Unworthiness

A threatening nature of life itself (i.e., that life is always a challeng)

Beliefs passed on from family members and others/the world


The part(s) living in...


The past trauma from childhood

Survival mode

Constant anxiety/hypervigilance (an offshoot of survival mode!)


Those are the broad categories. I have noticed many and keep noticing more. This is great. This is healing. This has felt a little overwhelming, but I know I don't have to see it that way.


I know that full healing, full integration is possible. And I am on that journey.


This has woken me back up to a fact I knew, but that I had sort of forgotten until now:


There are always deeper layers of healing.


Deeper Layers of Healing


Healing happens in stages.


Now, can you have a "one-and-done" healing experience? You bet!


Just, oftentimes, it takes multiple rounds. Because you keep going deeper.


And that's okay. That doesn't mean you've failed. It simply means that you get to take what you learned on one level and carry it into the next, becoming more of a healing pro all the time!


Because, at each layer, you remember more of the Truth. The Truth of reality, the Truth of Who You Are, the Truth of your power, and the Truth of what healing really is.


My deeper layers of healing have come about most recently in terms of fearing stepping out and being different/being seen, fearing change (even good change!), and revisiting the old scarcity mindset (yes, I will keep referring to it as "old" because I'm declaring that it's not my mindset anymore).


And the biggest one is...


The eating disorder. (Please have a brief read about this on my "Nutrition Journey" page!)


Yes, there is more healing to be done in this area.


In response to the stress I was choosing to feel (yep, I do believe it has all been of my choosing - just not totally on a conscious level!), I've noticed some disordered eating thoughts and behaviors arise.


Things I thought I had left in the past.


But apparently...they jsut got swept under the rug. And here they are again! To finally be taken care of, once and for all.


Not "taken care of" in an aggressive sense. Rather, "taken care of" in a literal healing sense!


Mindset and belief healing. Healing the body even more. Taking consistent, loving action - in both the thought and physical worlds.


Now, I by no means have a disorder anymore! No, we are not back in that place.


I have just noticed remnants that are surfacing.


And, thank goodness for them surfacing! Just like everything else. Because we can't heal what we're unaware of.


This has resulted in life feeling a little extra challenging. My mood has been lower. I have felt more fear, anxiety, and anger. I have felt less present with my work and with my people, as I navigate this healing. And, in response to all of this, I have felt guilty. I notice a pattern I've been in where I put way too much pressure on myself to be some sort of convoluted version of perfect that doesn't exist. (I know I am not alone in this!!!)


What is perfect right now is healing.


Healing first. And whatever else can exist right alongside it second.


See, here's what I know:


Healing holds an energetic signature of love. And we all know what the energy of love does.


Love raises the vibration of everyone and everything around it - both the emitter of the love and all those in proximity (either physically or energetically).


It (love), therefore, is an energy needed for manifestation. Always.


So, when we take care of ourselves, we can let the other things go for awhile. They're being taken care of. By the Universe.


Because we are choosing love. Because we are choosing healing.


I've known this since I began eating disorder recovery almost 2 years ago!


We have to take the time to look after ourselves. We must, must, must.


Now, thank goodness I am not where I was 2 years ago! I don't have to push the BIG pause button on life - just the little one. Just take a few things off my plate so that my energy can go to full healing.


Not just healing of the disordered eating remnants, but everything else that has surfaced, too.


One last note...imposter syndrome has popped up big time, too!


It was there as I was beginning everything with The Joy Babe, but even moreso now.


Because of the eating challenges.


I think..."Who am I to help people with their nutrition if I'm not fully caring for my body???"


Listen...(speaking to myself here, too!)


It's never about perfection.


You're not going to be perfect with your journey and neither am I.


We'll always have new goals and we'll always have to figure out how to hit them. There will be times when we don't hit them! What we get to choose, though, is how we see them. Our perspective. Our mindset.


We can decide that we're already perfect (the Truth of Who We Are), but sometimes our actions are not in alingment with that perfection. And that's okay.


Because that's a part of the journey.


This life is about aligning more and more and more and more with your soul, all the time.


As you do this, you'll be creating your life - you'll be manifesting!


But, back to the nutrition coaching thing...


Just because I have my own things I'm working on doesn't mean I'm any less capable of helping you sweet souls.


I've got the knowledge. I've got the passion. I've got the love. I've got the excitement.


We'll all always be healing something. But that certainly doesn't mean life has to stop or we can't do something until we're "perfect."


I promise.


Whew! Well, friends, there's the life update!


Thank you for reading until the end, and there will be more of these to come!


If you want to learn more about nutrition coaching, hop on over to this page! Be sure to fill out the form at the bottom if you are interested or have any questions at all!


XOXO Katie Anne



Comentários


bottom of page